dollygrrrl's Xanga

busy as a bee

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 11:39:21 GMT

Busy busy busy

I thought I had made up my mind to start writing regularly, but somehow a sudden announcement my one of my colleagues now means that I'll be real busy for the next couple of months (only, i hope)

Had wanted to blog all about my short getaway to Taiwan, but I kinda forgot the details, now its somehow seems like a distant dreamy memory (even though it wasn't that long ago, but when these many things are happening, it feels that long ago).

All I remember are funny bits here and there, the jellybelly giving his tortured look every time I happily announce that we're going shopping (again) and how he trudges along behind me, NOT carrying my shopping bags, as I rummage through the racks,shelves,piles of clothes clothes and more clothes!

How we crave shilin chicken and bubble tea EVERY night, how we went back specially to have more mouth watering mee sua. Just blogging about it now is making me salivate..

Long queue and yummy mee sua place (this place is located at Hsimenting, near the Hsimen train station exit 6, near Rainbow hotel)

There's a lot of good food in Taiwan. Pretty girls & cheap clothes too. Lang and I will gladly stay there for like ever. Plus now Ros is gonna be there. One more reason to visit Taiwan again!

Other than the mee sua - there's the shilin chicken. There are a few brands, so remember to go to the one with the the packaging featured below- there will be one dude overseeing the frying of the chicken, a few others at the back playing with the batter, and most importantly - one guy giving out plastic bags at the end of the queue. Go for this shilin chicken. It's the best among all that we tried.

Talking about shilin chicken. After weighing ourselves back in Singapore - we promised to go on a boiled / steamed chicken breast diet. Nothing but chicken breast and everything else healthy - tofu, veggies, tomatoes and so on. The first 3 days went by fine, until the weekend came, and we decided to try making our own shilin chicken and bought a deep fryer. (we even got chili powder and bkack pepper powder to replicate the taste!)And... for the next few days we had nothing but fried chicken, chicken nuggets, seaweed chicken, fries, and garlic bread. What's that about a diet again?

Oh wells.. and there was this smelly tofu, and well, was realllyyyy smelly. I know it's supposed to stink, but you know how in Taiwan you smell garbage - and if you do follow the trail of the scent, you will eventually end up at a cart selling smelly tofu. But when you do buy some, it tastes really awesome??

The jellybelly says it smells like your finger after your stick it up your ass. And well, we happened to buy some which unfortunately tasted as bad as it smelled.

So anyway, my advise is. buy only at the stalls where you see a lot of locals forming a queue at.

Anyway, just to end off this post - real random... but heres a cute shop puppy we saw in Wu Fen Pu.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Tue, 12 May 2009 15:04:23 GMT

what's new pussycat?

Monday, May 11, 2009

Mon, 11 May 2009 15:03:28 GMT

I'm starting to believe that my old car was cursed

It all starts to fal into place - ever since I got that wretched car, one bad thing happened after another..

Losing the people I love, making hasty and careless decisions, falling, and not having the strength to get back up on my feet

It was a trying time for me - and for a long time, I just wanted to just exist.

Didn't matter then, that I was unhappy. Didn't matter that I wasn't doing the things I wanted to. Didn't matter that I knew I could have been so much more than what I was. I hated the fact that I was so weak, and I hated even more, the fact that I was trying to ignore my self loathing.

All that time, it just felt easier to sit back on this crazy rollercoaster ride called life, instead of trying to fight it.

Disappointingly, I just gave up.

Somehow, after I switched cars. Things changed. Call me superstitious, but I really believe so.

Now I'm back behind the wheel. Yes - life is still a maze and I will never figure it out (but hey. who ever does), and I embrace everyday as it approaches with open arms . For once in a long long time, I'm finally truly happy and at peace.

Maybe I'm just a drama queen. As the jellybelly says - its my innate craving for drama that makes my temper so foul.

boo.

Anyways. I don't care. I'm happy now.

Spending the weekend - making crappy breakfast. Frolicking around in my defective jacuzzi. Watching discovery channel all day long. Swimming lessons for the girls in my lil jacuzzi. Car rides with the top down.

I'm very contented.

Monday, September 08, 2008

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 15:18:27 GMT

It's weird. Today just breezed past with a surreal tranquility..

No crying. No anger. No bitterness.

No withdrawal symptoms.

Maybe it will hit me tomorrow..

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 07:02:36 GMT

I'm tired

Tired of all the unhappiness

Tired of being stuck in between

Tired of feeling lost

Tired of all this helplessness

Tired of restrictions

Tired of trying to fit into others' ideals, and never being good enough

Tired of not being heard

Tired of walking on eggshells

Tired of spiteful words

I just want to sleep

And wake up tomorrow, feeling like the me I haven't felt like in years

The me who had no worries

The me who had family, who had friends

But somehow I just can't. It's a nightmare that doesn't end, and its slowly creeping up on me, making me feel worse, day by day, as the realization sinks in. That this is real. This is my life.

I have no more family.

No more friends.

No more dreams.

And it is all my own doing.

Because in my pursuit to please him, I have pushed all of them aside.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 12:53:52 GMT

Looking back.. It has been a year of new things for me

new job

new home

new pet

new car

It took me a while to get adjusted to each, but I'm glad to say I managed well..

It felt weird at first, didn't quite feel like home - more like a weekend getaway of some sort

Has been a week since I got the car, and it was really difficult initially because I hadn't driven a manual car in about 4 years (except for the times I forced my friends to let me take their cars for a ride). I was too short to see the front of the car so I sat upright, and when I did so I almost couldn't reach the clutch (had to tiptoe). I am trying to cultivate the habit whereby I leave my heel on the floor while switching between the brake and accelerating, and I'm literally using my toes to hit either pedal. sigh. but good thing is, I'm getting used to it. It's really fun driving a manual car :):)

I am just trying to run in as fast as I can..

Hate having to drive like a grandma, and having ppl make me feel like I'm some sort of road hog who can't drive..

I guess people who are driving behind me will finally get sick and tired of me driving my turtlecharged car and overtake me, and while doing so they will realise I'm a girl and think.. "FEMALE DRIVER".

I won't be surprised. I've done it many times before.

I'm running in pretty fast though. I have accumulated almost 700km since I got the car on the 25th of July.

In about another 2 weeks I'll be ready to rev beyond 4.5rpm.. and open my VTEC. Whatever that means.

Yippee..

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:02:46 GMT

After more than 3 years together, I'm finally giving you up.

We've been through so much together. You've seen the good and the bad in me.

I was choking with tears as I gave you away yesterday. Just feels so weird that we are no longer related to one another anymore.

I still remember the times we had. Only you know the places I go to, to sort out my thoughts, to clear my mind whenever I'm upset.

The long drives we took to nowhere. Just driving around, aimlessly.

You have been by my side, faithfully, these last 3 years. Bringing me to places I wanted to go to, even though it wasn't necessarily the best for you.

I remember, the first time I saw you. There you were, tucked at the back of the showroom, pearlescent, shiny, and I really fell in love with you then.

Within a couple of weeks, I was a proud new owner of a beautiful pearl white rx-8. I couldn't have been more fortunate.

But things changed. Tremendously. Within one night.

Even then, we stuck together through the hard times. There you were, never failing me. Always bringing me to the places I needed to be at.

But yet, I made the decision that it was time to make a change.

And now here I am ,and I really wonder. Will I ever be able to replace you?

I guess the only consolation I have now is the fact that I have an imposter on the roads, using the decals design that I had designed for you.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 18:04:51 GMT

I got stung by a bee today

Maybe I got overly dramatic..

but that was my first bee sting

I went to the pharmacy and pissed the pharmacist off by asking a ton of stupid questions

"What do you do when you get stung by a bee?"

"Will i die?"

"People do die from bee stings, if they're allergic"

"OH NOOOO... What if I'm allergic?"

"Then you'd be dead by now"

"Will my finger drop off???"

- blank stare -

"How many bees were there?"

"One"

- blank stare -

"I think you should be fine"

At this point of time I thought I should make my leave before he starts throwing creams and pills at me..

So I left.

We spent the evening in East Coast Park. It's amazing how crowded it was, and I finally got onto a bicycle after like.. 10 years?

They looked at me incredulously.

"I've never seen ANYONE ride a bicycle sooooo slow before."

"HAH That means I have good balance ok"

Jis didn't know how to cycle, she rode with Ju.. a la tian mi mi style.

It was a funny sight, I can't even begin to describe it.

We did stupid original tongue twisters like

"Chele sells seashells on the seashore. The shells Chele sells are seashore shells.."

So funny that I wanted to cry. and so sad that I wanted to laugh.

It's been awhile.. really.

And I really thank God I have such wonderful friends like them.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 04:57:23 GMT

I feel like laughing each time I think about it

I'm worth less than 2.6 / 360 * 110.

80 cents

Thats how little I'm worth.

He doesn't need me.

He needs his friends.

Only God knows where the story ends for me
But I know where the story begins
It's up to us to choose
Whether we win or lose

And I choose to win

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 09:45:13 GMT

I'm just really tired

and my mind is in a jumble

Do I really think too much for my own good?

I believe that everything happens for a reason, and hence maybe I read too deep into things.

Is that wrong?

I hate the feeling of not knowing right from wrong.

Of not being able to speak, all the thoughts in my head.

Not knowing where my limits are.

Where black and white transcends into grey.

People say, you should draw your lines. Right from wrong. Good from bad. Where you know you have been pushed beyond your limit.

But the thing is, I feel like I have no more lines.

My life is just a blank.

People have opinions. They have principles.

I feel like I don't have any of those anymore.

Maybe I used to.

But not anymore.

My friends can say you are wrong.

and your friends can say I am wrong.

I say we are all idiots because we only see one side of the coin.

My mum asked me.

"Does he bully you?"

I replied.

"No."

She looked at me, brow furrowed. Full of doubt.

"No. I think he does bully you."

He says.

"It's a woman's right to feel loved and pampered"

I feel loved and pampered.

But I feel its insincere. Just a show.

But who will ever believe me?

They've all watched the show.

I'm just so tired, and I don't want to try anymore.

The end.